"Pay attention"

an old nursery rhyme is adapted

"It's not so much picking up the food," Pete said as he stirred the pot of braising oxtails, "it's about paying attention."

It was one of those days Pete becomes cook and I orchestra from the steps. I was not feeling well. Living with chronic illness means running out of 'spoons.'

"The spoon theory or spoon metaphor is a disability metaphor (for a combination of ego depletion, fatigue, and other factors), a neologism used to explain the reduced amount of mental and physical energy available for activities of living and productive tasks that may result from disability or chronic illness.^[a] Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure in order to quantify how much energy a person has throughout a given day. Each activity requires a given number of spoons, which will only be replaced as the person "recharges" through rest. A person who runs out of spoons has no choice but to rest until their spoons are replenished."- Wikipedia

Once upon a time Pete and I never thought about the effects of running out of spoons. We were  young(er), viral and the sky was the limit when we hooked up and found a magical cottage in the back of a tropical island valley. Back then we weren't beef eaters either. But, as all characters in fairy tales know, things change.

This post is being inspired by a true life experience we mull over in real-time. It's about food. It's about running out of spoons. It's about paying attention. It's about communication. It's about pilina.

Maybe I can frame this experience as one more life challenge for a Makua o'o.

1. Keep a keen sense of observation … NOTICE, PAY ATTENTION ... We've been working with two young local people who shop for us weekly. It started three months ago. The learning curve is steep, new ground for us all. We've noticed one of the shoppers misses details.
2. Listen … with your whole body … LISTEN RESPECTFULLY I try to be as clear and specific in my email & shopping lists as possible. It usually works, but sometimes there's a gut message that 'tells' me something's not quite right.
3. Do your best in all things … LIVE LIFE WITH A PASSION... I don't do things half-assed and Pete is cardinal Cancer
4. Know that wisdom is found in many places … SOFTEN THE GROUND OF YOUR BEING ... This is the greatest area of opportunity. Can we: Trust strangers to 'do right' by us? We have so much history with betrayal. These are young people learning to be of service. Learning, that's the key. We're the elders, right? (elders-still-in-training). Old lesson: people learn differently; take time to find out how my message is being received. EVERYBODY'S faced with learning now!
5. Question for clarity when making decisions … ASK ... This week Pete and I noticed our shopper had no mask (that would be twice in two weeks) We should have put a stop to that. But didn't. Why not? Now, we communicate with her boss (and peer) about it and ask for a clarification on the protocol. Two apologies from them showed up in my INBOX; confirming  the "masks and gloves on" protocol was supposed to be in place, all along. A mistake was made.
   
6. Practice patience and endurance … TIMING IS DIVINE ...We have been letting the no-mask experience "percolate" with us. (In Washington state, masks are mandatory beginning 6/26/20.) Weighing the pro's and con's for continuing to hire and depend on the young shopping we examine our part in this process; and how our needs can be best served knowing what we are learning. I write this post ... and let it percolate some more.
7. Engage in good health practices … CARE ... Chronic illness is a moving target. Most on-lookers lose interest in what the 'sick' one experiences; symptoms and 'cures' change so much. Chronic illness does not fit the western medicine model of health. The Virus adds another level of sorting and managing. Care also means valuing my partner's needs. He is affected and effects this relationship.  These 9 tools of the makua o'o are a big part of my approach. Story medicine (these blogs) is an important part of the process of self-care. Pete and I add the practice of Jin Shin Jyutsu* to 'tether ourselves to Haumea (Earth) and come back to our selves.
   
8. Feel the heartbeat of the culture … SENSE YOUR PLACE, KNOW YOUR ROOTS ...We both feel very lucky to be facing The Virus and the Uprisings of 2020 with access to roots that have been consistently strong. Individually and together feeling connected to the place we live makes an important difference in our life. We depend upon birdsong to wake us; notice the shape and color of clouds, direction of the wind, note the phase of the moon and love the company of the dozens of other-than-human beings to ground us.
   
9. Believe in Ke Akua, for this higher power makes all life possible … WE ARE NEVER ALONE, ALWAYS LOVED ... My understanding of "Ke Akua" / God expands to mean praying to the Elemental forms of living more-than-human forces(Nature), and my Ancestors. I pray often. I ask for guidance a lot, but I am also stubborn and take back my problems minutes (seconds) after turning them over. I have to pray and turn the same problem over, again.
   

About food
When The Virus arrived, life changed for us, for all of us. Among other things the process for getting the food we like/need to eat went turtle. Those of us who could afford to shop, and could physically amble from our homes to a grocery had to adapt to a changing 'deliver chain'. Many of us who can afford to shop needed to depend upon others to handle our choices (there's a list for guidance, and a relationship between people develops).

There's a learning curve.

Running out of spoons
The thing is, the world has run out of spoons. We are all living a new 'nursery rhyme.' The metaphor

"Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure in order to quantify how much energy a person has throughout a given day. Each activity requires a given number of spoons, which will only be replaced as the person "recharges" through rest. A person who runs out of spoons has no choice but to rest until their spoons are replenished."

is so accurate a description for the energy and every day activity for nearly every person I know today. Pausing to mindfully, personally, and collectively reflect and change the way we interact is REAL WORK. The real work.

It's about paying attention
That's an old-style value. Hawaiians used to say (and still do) "Close your mouth. Open your ears. Be alert (use your eyes)." Pete comes from a lifetime of labor; on the job work that has saved him more times than I like to hear. But. Good to know! There's a thumb that doesn't work the same but is still in place that reminds us both about 'paying attention.'

We, Pete and I, are old. And paying attention is just as important as when we were young. It's probably even more important now, but ... we are forgetting things and details slip. We have to depend upon others. We are learning how to do that, in spite of the odds against us.

It's about communication
Black Lives Matter. Yes, they do. I have a hand-written sign in our wagon window that affirms my belief that they do. Some people don't agree. Some people disagree violently. Most people don't say anything when they pass our wagon window.

In this situation, where young people are the ones we have trusted to shop and deliver food and essential products to us, the form of communicating between them is important because they are our community;  what they are doing makes a difference in believing LIFE MATTERS. Are they active, and involved with taking a stand or protesting in the Uprisings of 2020? I don't know.

But what they are involved in is being part of their real community's newly adapted food supply chain. It's revolutionary.

• Paying attention, 
• pausing to notice (often) and 
• communicating with people who are both like you/them and unlike you/them, 
• with a keen awareness to details (and nuance) is a learned process. 
• That's what a makua o'o (an elder human in training) is. 
• Becoming an 'elder' is a lifelong practice - there's always more to learn.

The Makua o'o are tomorrow's kupuna, elders, in training today. In the Hawaiian culture, the Makua o'o is urged to be in honest preparation under the tutelage of kupuna now. The o'o (with kahako, accentuation, over both vowels) is a cultivating tool used to work the ground, weed unwanted growth and prepare for planting. The art of becoming Makua o'o develops as a tailor-made journey of discovery, practice and confidence with that cultivating too.

It's about pilina.
This post is especially for the young shoppers, but I leave it here to attract any who are ripe for the "honest preparation" under tutelage with elders from different cultures and capacities.

This post is also a way for me to inspect and reflect on how to do the 'right thing.' Astrologically? It's all about that stellium in Capricorn. Saturn-Jupiter-Pluto. Facing the hard truth of things. We are part of a marginalized population: We're disabled elders living in a wagon, on a fixed-income, in a world addicted to chemical products. We live fragrance and chemical-free, and it's a challenge twenty-four-seven with or without a Pandemic. The Virus ups the ante.

"Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto will be conjunct throughout most of the second half of 2020. I am seeing my clients of all ages, come to some kind of reckoning. In all cases, the person is humbled in some way. It doesn’t feel good but I believe it’s the best thing that can happen to you."- Elsa

I am so invested in sharing what an old Hawaiian-Chinese-Filipino woman living with an old Irish-Ukrainian man have learned and are learning. I keep investing -- like a moving target -- in spreading hundreds of blog posts on the cloud written since 2009. The stories I tell repeat the same messages, whirl into myth for medicine that embraces inconsistency and draw on the original nine tools of the makua o'o.

"The 'Original Instructions' (like the tools of the makua o'o) are not commandments. They are a compass, providing orientation, not a map." - Robin Wall Kimmerer

I am so committed and hopeful the value of pilina can take hold at this time where you/me/we are; place-based education, where we hold each other accountable for our actions, is real-time political action.

 This message of Pilina is well worth repeating!

Does this provoke or inspire you to begin your personal journey as makua o'o?

We welcome conversation.

💙💚💛💜💗🧡💕

Mokihana and Pete


RELATED POSTS & LINKS
"The myth of masks: diving into cover for meaning"
"The myth of masks: Part Two"
 Face Mask or Cloth Face Coverings in Washington State (effective 6/26/2020)
The person walking past  you isn't wearing a mask. What should you do?
* What is JinShinJyutsu?